Where I Am: Outside a Home Depot (I think)

What I’m Doing: Raising an ant farm on my face

I was well aware that I have a big fat head long before this project started.

Now I’m forced to face the fact that I look hideous with facial hair.

I used to have a rule that if I’m in need of a haircut, I stop shaving so the itchiness of facial hair would force me to a barber. This rule not only failed to work a good 95% of the time, it also led me to look like a disheveled creep. This is only a few days’ worth of growth and it looks as if I broke the legs off a million cockroaches and hotglued them to my face. The incongruity of the facial hair just adds to the awfulness.

The other thing I’ve learned from this project is that, despite the fact that they make up 100% of my wardrobe, I don’t know how to maintain a collared shirt. The collars are all curled like a wilting flower.

I’m a damn mess.